why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
