Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize