It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
