i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
