The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize