Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
