I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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