Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
