There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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