ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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