I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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