I need help removing her.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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