Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
