my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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