Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
