The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
