Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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