Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize