Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
