just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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