Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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