i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have post one night stand depression
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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