1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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