My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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