He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
