it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize