Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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