good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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