I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
