This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize