please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
