Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
