So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize