like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Come share oat with me in your robe
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
