it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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