You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
