you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
