I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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