Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
