He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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