You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
