no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize