I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
