I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
