considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
