Already got asked if we're dating
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
