i need an iv and a liver transplant
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
