IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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