Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
