I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
