put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
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