She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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