It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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