how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
