he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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