Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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