Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
