dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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