She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
