I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
