# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
