what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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