Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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