she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize