margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
