wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How does it feel to date your dad?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
