Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
