Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
