Dual....:-)
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
