Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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