we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
