I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
that's an acceptable place to lick
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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