Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
