My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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