What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
