i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This is the high leading the old right now
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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